Your friends and foes Heyday Friday newsletter
A memorable trip, a significant anniversary, a heart-warming book, a connection experiment and an inspiring real life story in this week's newsletter
Hello!
Another week, another quick-bite getaway. Last time it was four days in Majorca, this time the same length of time in Portugal, visiting a former colleague who became a good friend, along with another member of the same magazine team who I became friends with when we first worked together over 20 years ago.
There are blogs to be written about the restorative benefits, and particular pleasures, of short breaks - whether abroad or at home. About the special joy of working relationships that turn into friendships. As well as one reflecting on the delights of having friends of different ages - the other two in this scenario, and photo, are five and seventeen years younger than me respectively.
But the timing of my return (at 2am on Wednesday morning - planned, not because of delays, just to be clear. We wanted to squeeze the most time possible out of our trip, so we booked the last flight of the day on Tuesday. By the time I made it home to my bed, even though the whole journey had gone without a hitch it was the wee small hours of the morning) and the demands of other work, mean they’re all going to have to wait until later dates. So whilst there’s no blog this week, I’d love to hear your views or stories/experiences about any, or all, of the above.
Are you a fan of the snack rather than full-blown version of a getaway? If so, why? Or, indeed, why not? Do you favour a city break, a spa treat, or spending the time enjoying a hobby, or learning a new skill? And who is your ideal travelling companion if you have one?
Have you become out-of-work friends with a colleague? What was/is it that you did/do together? What dimension does your work relationship add to your friendship, do you think?
And if you have friends who are older or younger than you, what impact, if any, do you think your age difference has on your friendship? In what ways do you think it enhances it, if it does? Or perhaps means that you have to accept there are certain things you simply can’t have in common?
Do let me know.
FRIDAY FUNNY
Recalling how we shivered in the cold and rain (with supposed summer just one day away) waiting for the coach to the airport on Friday afternoon, I’m not sure whether this is funny or too true to be amusing. Whaddyouthink?
THIS WEEK I’VE BEEN…..READING
Bad weather plays a significant part in this new book from David Nicholls, author of the worldwide best-seller One Day, which was recently turned into an equally wildly successful Netflix drama series (reviewed and recommended in a previous newsletter).
This time Nicholls’s will-they-won’t-they protagonists are 42 year old geography teacher, Michael and 38 year old copy editor, Marnie, both assiduously nursing the bruising emotional fall-out of their respective separation and divorce. Michael has determined to undertake the 190 mile Coast to Coast route across the north of England through the Lakes and the Pennines, in an attempt to walk off at least some of his misery, and is coerced by his friend Cleo to allow a thrown-together group to accompany him for the first few days.
Circumstances and the aforementioned weather conspire to leave Michael and Marnie as the only two members standing - or rather walking - after the first two days and as the emotionally and physically battered pair immerse themselves in the challenges of the route and the stunning, if brutal, surroundings, we watch as their relationship unfolds in a combination of agonisingly and hilariously relatable fits and starts.
Nicholls is as superb at describing landscapes as he is at the telling nuances and details of places and relationships. Michael and Marnie have become ruefully-guarded masters of their solitude and are profoundly cautious about relinquishing their wounded shells and opening themselves up to the stumbling possibility of connection and even romance.
Naturally, this being a David Nicholls book, the course of their relationship runs anything but smoothly, but for the same reason, in his masterful hands you’ll find yourself progressively rooting for both of them.
I can’t wait to see the TV series.
You Are Here is currently out in hardback. You’ll find it at all good bookshops and online including at THE WORKS, where it’s just £10
And a quick shout out for 2011 film
which I watched on the flight back (for the umpteenth time, but the first in ages). The fabulously funny tale of shell-shocked Steve Carell whose long time wife and love, Julianne Moore informs him out of the blue that she wants a divorce, triggering a chain of events that brings him into the orbit, and under the tutelage, of smooth womaniser Ryan Gosling. Quite how the rest of the brilliantly top-notch cast are involved in the story you’ll have to watch the film to see (and if you already have, then I do heartily recommend you do again. And again). All I will add is that it’s so entertaining - including absolutely the funniest fight scene you’ll ever see - that one of the people in the row behind me asked me what I’d been watching as it sounded such fun from my laughter that she wanted to see it as well.
Get a taste of Crazy Stupid Love HERE then enjoy watching the whole thing.
WHAT’S MADE ME HAPPY THIS WEEK
Staying with the theme of connection, I just loved the idea of this and how it played out.
I’m writing this on the 80th anniversary of D-Day, so it seemed only fitting to share these
WORDS OF WISDOM
from General George Patton, which can just as easily be applied to all manner of situations other than war.
Ruth is one of the Heydayer’s who shares their stories on the These Are The Heydays website. Hers is particularly inspiring and appropriate for this war-time anniversary.
She’s fantastically humble about the top secret role she played in defeating the Germans, as you’ll discover when you CLICK HERE
That’s it for this week. If you haven’t watched any of the D-Day commemoration ceremonies, I really recommend you find them on iPlayer. Though do have a hanky to hand when you’re watching. I was in tears umpteen times.
No more travels planned for a while now, so with my passport tucked away and my suitcase emptied, I’ll see you next time.
Diane x
Hi Diane, I have some answers to your questions.
My husband came up with this 2:2:2 rule - every 2nd week we go on a date. Every 2nd month we go away for a few days and every 2 years we go on a lovely long holiday. Our dates are on Saturdays as he’s working all week and we’re not night owls. We take turns of the restaurant we eat at. Never take-out joints. We go for smart dining. It has to feel special. After our lunch, we always have an activity planned: a drive, a wander around the little town we’ve eaten at or in September we went to Oktoberfest and Swiss Days. For our 2nd month rule, we go away for a few days…we’ve been to San Francisco, New York, visited friends in South Carolina, Las Vegas. Each time we plan ahead of some wild n crazy and fun things to do - we’ve taken a self guided tour in a motorbike and side car, tea at a cute place, a show. For the every 2 years holiday, well, that has been few and far between as it costs lots to do that. For Christmas this year, we’re going to South Africa. We have family in 3 cities. So we’ll be too busy for adventures. Seeing them will be enough.
As far as friends of different ages, I have them. I’m 60 and yet I still feel so young. 30 year old Ashley feels like my daughter but we have loads to talk about as we go for walks. She’s a crafter and artist and I am fascinated at all she creates. Mostly we complain about things in our neighborhood. Jeanine is my morning walking partner. She is 10 years older than I and truthfully, she feels like my mother. We have nothing in common really, but we get on so well. We go to the same church and so we talk about Sunday sermons. She likes to do word searches and I love my crosswords. She has grownup grandchildren and I don’t have any grandchildren. Yet. I love hearing her interactions with them.
As far as work relationships go, when I last worked in my 20s, I tried the friendships with them outside of work thing, and they were always a disaster. We’d get to know personal things about each other and then it’d spill over in the workplace and it always ended in disaster and then effectively working together became painful.
Hi Diane.
On the subject of workplace friendships. I have been fortunate enough to make some very good friends over the years at work. I worked from aged 16 to 63(a variety of employers but the last job I was in for 35 years) so there have been many colleagues and friends along the way.
One very good friend is 87 now(14 years older than me). We met when I was 21. The age group is mostly 9 years younger than me. All youngsters at heart though. My other long term friend now lives in Canada but we stay in touch thanks to video links. Unfortunately as is life some very dear younger friends
have passed over the years.
Of course within the time scale our husbands have joined the friendship circles. So normally coffee meet ups and visiting involve 4 of us. 🥰🥰
My husband and myself have had 3 trips to NYC but due to health issues insurance is a no no for the time being. So days out for the foreseeable! Which suits us as our little 17yr old(puss cat) is pleased we are here I am sure. 🐾🐾
Apologies, I think i have waffled!
Have a lovely week dear Diane. Xx